Reality

When I woke up this morning I quickly ran through what was on todays to-do list.  Like most days it consisted of get up, get Alex ready for school, laundry, work, grocery store etc.  Then all of a sudden it hit me....my daughter was diagnosed with a chronic illness yesterday!  It was such a weird feeling.  Like someone dropped a pile of bricks on my chest. 

Like I mentioned yesterday the best thing we have going right now is that Alex is pain free.  She does not feel ill, she does not look ill, she does not have to take any medication at the moment.  But, she still has a chronic illness. It's hard to know how to feel.  I feel sad for her and selfishly for us too.  As much as I feel optimistic about how far treatment has come in the past few years I feel doom  on the horizon.  She may get on a great medication and never have a painful symptom in her life. Or, things could be very bad.

All I can do is stay completely optimistic and positive for her.  I can pray, comfort and love her and that is what I plan to do.

As far as Alex goes, she is 12.  She is more worried about her Junior High dance tomorrow night than this stupid thing that has given her big knuckles! She told me yesterday that she does not want to know the extent of what could happen to her if the illness progresses.  She said she just wants to take it all in as it comes and that is what I will try to do too.